‘Food diary’ by Samantha Johnson

Content warning: disordered eating

‘Food diary’ by Samantha Johnson 

‘Food diary’ by student Samantha Johnson was developed in Poetry & Performance in 2022. 

 

 

Monday 

Boiled eggs (2) 

Medium mandarin 

Handful of almonds (raw) 

 

Something has been eating flour, a mouse we think. Piles of fine white in the pantry. 

 

Rice crackers with tomato and cheese (4) 

 

My mother says cottage cheese is delicious, actually. She put a magnet on the fridge: 

STEP 

AWAY 

                                                       a little red hexagon. 

 long black (milk is wasted calories) 

crackers (3)     

(7)    

                                                         Stop buying snacks. 

 

We set a trap. Wonder whether mice agree with the cottage cheese assessment. 

 

grilled salmon (200 grams) and veg – nightshade variety 

 

Under the magnet a sassy woman redlipsmilingcurls says “Don’t Listen to Your Inner Self – 

                                                                                                           She’s Mean Because She  

                                                                                                            Misses Eating Bread!” 

It is a joke.  

NO EATING AFTER DINNER 

 

greek yoghurt + blueberries (1/2 cup) 

 

When I weigh less the floorboards won’t creak as I prise open the fridge. Everyone is sleeping. 

 

slimy fingers of peanut butter and 

sweet mustard pickle smeared on a frozen pastry sheet 

 

I hear it, then crouch. Wild and foetal, caught by the tail. Crumb-dusted belly distending  

a blood tipped quiver in the bow of mortality 

a victim of cottage cheese. 

I close the fridge door 

turn away in the dark. 

 

 

Author bio: Samantha Johnson (she/her) is a poet in Melbourne, Australia, working on her debut collection. She writes on the unceded land of the Traditional Owners of the Kulin Nation and acknowledges their elders, culture and creativity.  Her latest work is in Rabbit Journal and forthcoming in Antipodes